Why I deactivated my Facebook account — and what I learned from it

So from this past November I deactivated my Facebook account. There may be some people who befriended that wonder why I have been absent and less active on the social media website. Ultimately, there were a few reasons why I chose to depart from the social media mega-website. These reasons why sound frivolous or facetious, but I can say subjectively it was nothing personal from anyone I befriended.

Well, honestly, I realized that I treated using Facebook mostly as a chore. In hindsight utilizing it became more of something to pass time rather than browse and correspond for fun. For instance, on a daily basis, I check my social media accounts just to keep posted, like posts or pictures and view which content seems relevant. So that seems fine, right? I think it seems and sounds reasonable. However, I felt so drained and so disengaged from Facebook as I personally regretted my purpose of being a member of its online community for ten years and five months. Now, I know that I sound as if I am victimizing and sabotaging myself and maybe I am doing so mentally, or it possibly could be that I just outgrew Facebook. Still, for some odd reason these thoughts occasionally ruminate through my mind. So case in point, I think that at this point of my life I want to enjoy the communication and my comraderies with a full perspective and not take it for granted, because I feel as if I have lost bonds with friends that I regret letting vanish. And I know this will seem odd of me to say but sincerely I apologize to my friends and acquaintances whom I betrayed by my actions and departure from Facebook.

Then, another reason came down to the news about the Russian conspirators and its government’s interference of our past U.S. presidential election, and its incessant attempts to infiltrate such divisive resentment and “dark money payments” to social media platforms, including Facebook. Yeah, I know the people of the U.S. have rights to correspond with whomever they see fit, and that there may be clearance of no First Amendment violation, but it is one thing for Facebook executives or whoever to deny ongoing claims, but to consistently deny claims as news cycles uncover news is quite telling. Just thinking about it now I recall a couple articles confirming and sourcing these actions but I will have to try and attribute it in this post — if anyone minds reading or skimming about it. To be honest, I am uncertain why Mark Zuckerberg had not spoken about this but the fact he did not uncover these corruptive actions from Russia does not relieve my resentment. Of course, I know it makes me a hypocrite for using Facebook and have political opinions pertaining to Russia’s meddling, but if our country were to conjure efforts to interfere in this political process their country would react and retaliate the U.S. harshly. Oy, so I digress onto my final point.  

Lastly, I would like to explain that I viewed my content on Facebook to be ineffective and dull (whether it appears as such). Generally, throughout my long-winded experience on Facebook, I noticed that some of my pictures and posts were unique and random (mostly random), but I felt so conscientious about what to share on my profile; in reality it became debilitating to a degree. Maybe, in my mind, I believed I needed to outdo myself and proceed to post outlandish content to gain attention — but I knew it would phase no one. Personally, when I was younger in my late teens into earlier 20s while I used Facebook, I continued to reserve myself just for the sake of not upsetting anyone, which I know sounds like conformity and in a way it is. That hindrance made me feel debilitated, so unwilling to budge from my thick shell. This sounds strange but the shell’s exterior felt so unbreakable, like I needed to associate to my friends’ Facebook posts and content to chisel the shell. As time passed I eased more into letting down my anxieties of the online intimidation that I believed Facebook thrusted toward me. To be candid, I felt so inspired by people who just did not care the popularity of their content on Facebook; realistically they only care about sharing fun or sensible content that matters or has a purpose to them. That is what I admired: to see their willingness to just not care about negativity or snide feedback.

I feel like most of my social media experiences turn out to challenge me with subtle nudges, but without those nudges I would continue to withhold my “voice” and “mindset” onto media. In essence, there will come a point when I have to simply divulge my inhibitions and share my perceptions and ideas authentically — to let my voice be heard on my terms. What I can say is that Facebook presents a “platform” where I had chances to share anything (pictures, videos and the more, and content that interested within means) by either bearing positivity or consequences because of the “tone”. Funnily enough, I realize now that Facebook tested my patience and my mentality a lot, however I bear responsibility of that manifestation; it overwhelmed me too much and I permitted the popularity statistics and my anxiety pressure me beyond my breaking point. I can only take responsibility for it. Often I think whether I might – just might – reactivate my Facebook account, but I remain conflicted about it. At least right now I do not believe or think I can mentally re-use Facebook. I feel as if I devoted too many of my emotions into the website, and I took too many of my friends’ popularity statistics (friends count, likes, shares, etc.) too personally — in comparison to how I perceived myself as a person. Right now, since I had deactivated my account, I feel such a wave of relief, like my heart has been restored to a place where I feel solace with myself. Perhaps that fact that I am 29 years old and finally proclaim my self-validation with my inner-peace of my self-love has helped me tremendously. Yeah, I believe that helps me, and I love that sense of freedom.

Sources of articles regarding Russia-Facebook meddling ties:

https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/10/19/16503380/facebook-google-online-political-ads
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/06/technology/facebook-russian-political-ads.html
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/10/03/readers-sound-off-no-one-pays-attention-facebook-ads-anyway/728895001/
https://www.engadget.com/2017/09/06/facebook-russian-group-spent-100-000-on-fake-news-ads/